Run or Fight
by Teelke
Summary: Addison comes back from LA where she found out that she can t have kids... after a night with Derek she discovers that she is pregnant. How will she get out of this mess? I suck at summaries
1. Chapter 1

"You are pregnant"

This was certainly not the answer Addison expected after all what she made through in the last years. Not wanting a child, then being pregnant with the wrong person, then she finds out that she is all dried up and can´t get children anymore and now she should be pregnant. That sounds more like a big joke then the truth.

"What did you just say, Miranda?" Addison blurts out thinking that she simply misunderstood what Miranda just said, or maybe it was just wishful thinking.

"You are pregnant Addison" Miranda says again.

"But", Addison pauses " that´s not possible"

"Why not?"

Addison sighs then takes a big breath and tells Miranda what happened in the 2 days when she was in LA.

"Well but you are pregnant and that in the second month already" Miranda says.

~

2 months earlier:

Addison steps out of the airport, with a suitcase in her left hand and her heels in the other trying to find a cab to get home quickly. Two days ago she found out that she can´t have kids and that was certainly not what she wanted to find out while she was in LA. She wanted to come back pregnant or stay in LA forever but now she comes back without any idea how to go on with her life.

Suddenly she sees an empty cab in front of her, she quickly runs towards it hoping that no one else saw it earlier. She opens the door and lets herself fall into the backseat of the cab.

"To the Mayflower Park Hotel please" she says into the direction of the driver trying to get her purse out of her suitcase next to her but then she realizes that someone was indeed faster than her.

"Hey" he says grinning at her.

Addison just glares at him, already trying to get out of the cab but then he holds her back.  
"I need to go the Mayflower Park Hotel too, you can drive with me, I won´t let you out looking like this" while saying this he softly brushes away a tear from her face.

Addison didn´t even realize that tears run down her face all the time, she wishes that she could just run away, run away from him, from her life right now and just cry but she decides it for the best to drive with him for now, for one because she doesn't want more people than nessesary see her right now so she just nods and then stares out of the window hoping that he understands that she is not in the mood to talk right now.

Some minutes later everything was different, she suddenly lay on the hotel bed with him on her kissing every part of her skin just the way she needed it, she could never resist the way he kisses her. It all happened so fast, in one moment he helps her with her suitcase and in the other moment he presses her against the wall kissing her neck and ripping her clothes off her body.

She woke up two times that night, the first time he had his arms around her and she felt save for the first time after she moved to Seattle and fell asleep some minutes later, but she second time when she woke up he was gone, without any sign that he was ever there and she was pretty sure that it was just a dream, a dream that felt uncomfortably real.

~

So it wasn´t a dream after all.

Addison steps out of the OR going to wash her hands in the sink, of course she has a surgery with him just after she found out, that she is pregnant but somehow she stayed calm in the OR but now after she surgery she was close to burst out into tears, and not that that would be enough she felt sick for some minutes now.

"Good surgery" she was trying so hard to not burst out into tears that she didn't realize that she stood next to her.

"Yeah, you did a good job" she says feeling the sickness getting stronger

"So did you" he added trying to put a hand on her shoulder but she already rushed away trying not to puke right where she stood.

~

Some minutes later she stepped out of the toilet just to find him staying next to the door looking worried at her.

"What´s wrong?"

"Nothing, I just went to refresh my make up" Addison says innocently hoping that he didn´t know what she just did.

"I heard you Addison" he says trying to read her thoughts.

Addison sighs.

" I just don´t feel so well, okay?" she answers and then rushes away.

~

"I just need some time to figure out what I want to do now, Callie"

"But you need to tell him someday."

"I know but not now, not today, I just can´t"

"But how did this happen, I thought that you can´t have kids."

"That´s what I thought too, otherwise I would have used a condom when I slept with him , god I will kill Naomi"

Callie lies an arm around Addison trying to comfort her.

"You know, that I will be there for you, whatever you decide to too."

"Thank you Callie." Addison smiles a bit at her.

"Who is the father anyways?"

"Oh you don´t want to know this, I´m sure that you will kill him."

"So I know him?"

"Yes you do know him."

"Oh come one tell me, I promise I won´t judge."

"Okay, but promise me don´t kill him and don´t tell anyone else about this"

"Addison, you know how I am, I won´t tell anyone."

Addison thinks for a minute about this and decides that Callie is right, she can tell her everything.

"It´s Derek"


	2. Chapter 2

First of all, thank you so much for all the people who reviewed I really hope that you enjoy this story since this is the first one I wrote in a while and the first one to publish here ;)

This chapter is def not for kids anymore, just as a little warning :P It might turn out to be a bit confusing but I hope that you will like it anyway ;)

* * *

Addison couldn't figure out a way how this could possibly end with a happy ending, she wasn´t going to ruin Derek´s relationship again  
by telling him that she was pregnant with his baby but what else could she do?  
After some time it would show that she is pregnant and then the rumours would start.  
Maybe they, the interns and other co-workers, wouldn´t think that he would be the father but Derek is clever enough to figure it out.  
No this would certainly not work out either way.

Addison sat down on her couch holding a warm cup of hot chocolate in her hands, she always used to drink hot chocolate in  
New York when she needed something to calm her down and clear her head from any thoughts, but here in Seattle without Derek it didn´t seem to work.  
Since she came back from her two day trip to LA anxious and restless, she was yet to find something that would change it.

Every couple of minutes her mind seemed to rush away and replayed what happened at that night when Derek finally made  
love to her for the first time since he saw her sleeping with his best friend. Of course they made love since then but to  
her there is a big difference in making love and fucking.

The way he kissed her that night, at first gently with the tip of his mouth and then later when she responded more demandingly,  
the way how he touched her willingly yet gentle, exactly how she loved being touched.

She remembered how he took off the white blouse that she wore, it was dripping wet from the rain when she ran out of the airport trying to find a taxi.  
There was something erotic about how the white blouse lay on her body making it a bit see through.  
"You better take that off before you get a cold" he said that night and she did what he demanded.

He placed soft kisses on her stomach starting just under her belly button going slowly upwards, enjoying every time that his soft lips made contact with her skin.  
There was an intimacy about this, her full body was littered with goosebumbs and every time when he placed another kiss on her soft skin her full body arched trying to get him as close as possible.

"Turn around" he ordered and she did instantly as he said.  
He opened the back of her bra moving the straps with his hands to the sides, then he placed himself over her, taking care not to put too much weight on her. He started placing kisses on her neck, making her feel the hot breath of his on her skin.  
She let out a quiet moan indicating Derek that she loved what he did to her, then turned her head to kiss him passionately.

Just by thinking back on that night her full body was covered with goosebumbs again, making her breathing louder with desire.  
This wasn´t just sex, that she was sure of it was more than just sex.

"Derek I have to talk to you" Addison hurried next to him along the corridor having trouble to keep up to his speed.  
"Not now, I am already late for a surgery"  
"But its really important Derek"  
"Addison, please it is only a 2 hour surgery then we can talk" and with that words he rushed to the left to  
enter the OR leaving Addison stand alone in the corridor"

Addison looked at her watch, she had one patient in the meantime and tried to kill some time by  
eating lunch early. After lunch, she couldn´t help but to wait in front of the OR that he was operating in, she needed this to be said she needed to know  
if he still loves her, only then she could make her decision whether or not to keep the baby.

After 10 more minutes of waiting in the corridor he finally went out, looking satisfied with his work.  
She went straight forward to him not letting him any chance to get distracted or giving him the time to do something else.

"Derek" she said, her voice sounding confident but that was only a facade, her mind was a huge mess.  
"Yes, Addison I haven´t forgotten, what is it that you had to talk to me about so urgently?"  
"Not here." she grabbed his left arm to pull him into one of the on call rooms and closed the door behind them  
before anyone could see who was inside.

She felt sick to her stomach but said to herself that it is only the anxiety about what she was about to ask him the next minute.  
Derek looked at her demandingly, she couldn´t wait any longer.

"Derek" she paused for a second feeling the nausea getting stronger but trying to ignore it.  
"What happened the other night, I ne--" before she could end her sentence she realized that the  
nausea wasn´t from the nervousness after all well at least not only because of it.  
She looked around in the room having to use the trash bin to throw up in, then she rushed away out of the room and out of the hospital.

"What a terrific timing Addison," she said to herself while she tried to put on her coat to keep her warm in the cold.

Now he knew, he must know what was up, this wasn´t the first time that she threw up in the hospital since she slept with him,  
one or two times you can say it is just a stupid virus but now he must know.

She ran up the stairs to her room in the hotel that she was staying in, starting up her Macbook and then running into the bedroom  
opening the two doors at once and throwing her clothes into her suitcase.

She needed to get out of Seattle fast, before anyone who she knows can judge her again,  
before the rumours spread, before everything around her breaks down again.

Then she went to her Macbook ordering the quickest flight out of Seattle and then a taxi which would arrive in 2 hours.  
In the waiting time she packed the rest of her stuff and took a quick hot shower, just when she was ready to leave the door bell rang.

Figuring it was the taxi driver she didn't look through the peep hole, instead opened the door directly shouting into the same direction  
that she will be ready any second, she went back to search for her heels.

She suddenly felt two hands on her hip, touching her softly.  
Ready to hit the taxi driver with her handbag she quickly turned around, but then stopped in shock.

"Derek!" she exclaimed.  
"Shh" he said and kissed her on her mouth making her shut up.  
She tried to free herself from his grip but every attempt made him just hold her closer, making it impossible for her to get out.  
He kissed her again, this time harder and more demanding.  
She tried to stay strong for a couple of minutes but eventually she gave in and kissed him back.

As he felt that she finally gave in he moved her against the wall, causing a quiet thud when Addison bumped backwards against it.  
She felt the weight of his body press her against the wall, giving her only so much room so that she could still breathe.

He began to tease her by leaving a trail of kisses all over her neck, stopping on her left ear to breathe a low "Addison" in her ear.  
It always gave her the chills when he did this kinda thing, she bit her lip trying to hold back a moan.  
This wasn´t like the other night, this was a game and she wasn´t going to let him win by showing that she loved what he did to her.

Addison got rid of his shirt and started to run her cold fingers up and down his back leaving a couple of scratch marks on his back then went downwards trying to open his belt.  
He restrained from just giving in because thats what she wanted and opened her blouse instead, well actually it was more of a ripping apart but she didn´t really care.  
Her mind was really somewhere else at that moment, he could have done almost everything with her at that point.  
Finally he opened her bra and started to caress her breasts with his hands making her sigh with pleasure, while he softly bit her ear.

When she suddenly felt his strength against her body she looked up to his face, raising an eyebrow as he sheepishly grinned at her.  
She quickly opened his belt to have more access to his strength teasing him with her hands as he finally gave in.

"Addison" he moaned under his breath and then run his hands down to take her pants off, she lifted one leg and placed it on his hip.  
In a couple of seconds they were already moving in the same rhythm, getting closer and closer to their climax, both of them trying to hold  
it back as long as they could but they eventually gave in and came together enjoying every second of it.


End file.
